Kategori: Social

Born Uninsurable: How Child Insurance Build’s a Two-Tier Society

For a good while now, insurance companies have told us they price ‘risk‘.
In practice, what they actually, is to price people out of protection. And they do this, from the very moment we are born.

Thus, a childhood marked ‘high risk’ becomes a lifetime marked poorer, harder and narrower.
But make no mistake; this is not acturial science – it’s intentional social engineering.

The Problem; Plain and Furious
To use my own story as an example;
when my sister was born, my parents could buy insurance for her.
They could however, not buy it for me; I was ‘too high risk’.
My parents were simply told that I was slightly too fat at my current stage of growth, (I was 8) and struggled with some genetic-issues related to my family.
So, even as my family had the fund to insure me, the company blankly refused.

Many years later, one of my friends who share a similar epileptic-story to myself, ended up recieving nearly 1 million NOK after becoming partially disabled; money he recieved due to his childhood insurance, and which has severely helped him move forward in harsher times.
Since I didn’t get approved for insurance, I’ve recieved nothing.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I am exceedingly happy for my friend, that’s not the point I want to make.
Instead, what makes me furious is knowing that the system is made this way,
by design. And this design is what makes our outcomes so different.
That in itself is not just unfair, it’s also discriminatory.
And it seems to happen quite often in places that like to call themselves ‘fair’.

How Child Insurance Actually Works (and Why It Hurts)
When Insurance underwriters gets an application for child-insurances, they assess the risk each child may potentially bring to the company further down the line, and then either:

  • Accept the application with standard coverage (children who are healthy and unlikely to need insurance).
  • accept the application with reservations/ exclusions, (children with the likelyhood of X and Y happening due to certain issues, will recieve coverage for anything except that which is likely to happen).

    or they,
  • reject the application entirely (the otherwise healthy child has physical/mental/genetic something that may cause issues in adulthood,. Thus insurance companies manages to sleek away from those who need their help the most. Hooray!

In Norway, a small but notable share of child-insurance applications recieve reservations; a smaller share are simply refused. Policy managers admit that common triggers for reservations include things like: allergies, asthma and eczema – and that about 1% of applications are refused outright.
And this is not a theoretical loophole, but rather a documented practice;

3 May 2018.
– Ifølge fagsjefen Espen Paulsen i Storebrand Forsikring er det 5% av barn det søkes forsikring for som får reservasjon og rundt 1% som får avslag.
(https://www.klikk.no/foreldre/barn/barnehelse/unntak-i-barneforsikring-3757069?)

What this means, in real terms is: some children are allowed the social safety net of insurance, while others – often those with congenial differences, early developmental signs, or genetic markers, aka those who need it the most, are not.
Newspapers have repeatedly told stories of children denied coverage, despite being otherwise healthy, and of parents left to fight insurers and their sleezy system.
As mentioned in Aftenposten on the 12 of May 2020;

«Barneforsikringer er for friske barn, de som trenger forsikringen minst av alle».
(https://www.aftenposten.no/foreldreliv/i/b58Er3/norsk-barnelegeforening-reagerer-paa-markedsfoering-av-barneforsikringer-spiller-paa-usikkerhet-og-frykt-hos-foreldre-i-en-saarbar-startfase?)

Furthermore, from a public health and ethics standpoint, the practice is not only bluntly uncomfortable – but studies in public health argue that underwriting by health risk raises serious ethical concerns in welfare societies meant to share risk fairly.

Because, when private insurance draws sharp lines at the very start of life, the result it predictable: inequality becomes embedded – not corrected, as illustated by M. Ospelt at Springer Nature (2024) in a systemic review exploring insurance, legal-and financial hardships connected to childhood- and adolescent cancer. (https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11764-024-01710-3?)

Real Cases = Real Consequences
Several journalistic investigations and reports on the matter, show a multitude of heartbreaking examples: healthy children refused cover because of recorded learning difficulty (you know, things that often settles with age); children denied because of gender identity (one of the highest reasons for child-suicide); families who’ve had to take legal steps to challenge denials.
And these cases are not anomalities, they are signals of a rotten system;

«Frisk 12-åring ble nektet forsikring.
En 12 år gammel jente fikk avslag i Sparebank 1 da foreldrene ville kjøpe barneforsikring. Begrunnelsen var at barnet hadde lærevansker».
(https://www.aftenposten.no/norge/i/Xq867/frisk-12-aaring-ble-nektet-forsikring?).

Furthermore, Norwegian ‘ombudsman’ rulings also reflect this tension, as certain decisions have found that automatic denial to children with diagnosed conditions – such as Asperger’s syndrome, places them in an even worse position, despite the legal line being both complicated and inconsistent.

For families the result is simply uncertanty, expense and often no remedy.
(https://ldo.no/arkiv/klagesaker/2016-funksjonsevne-1412-avslag-pa-uforeforsikring-ikke-diskriminerende/?).

Why This Deepens the Disability -> Poverty Trap
Take a few seconds, and think through the math of a life: a child who recieves insurance can, when disability or severe illness hits, access compensation for care, adaption and lost family income. On the other hand, a child denied coverage faces one of two futures: full dependence on public benefits (which are often stingy, beaurocratic andhighly stigmatized!) – or end up in catastrophic amounts of debt.
Either way the child who was «uninsurable» at 8, becomes an adult at a structural disadvantage.

That difference – paid out in NOK, paperwork and lost opportunities – ripples across education, work capacity, mental health, and even mortality. It’s created a quiet class divide where genetics, medical history, and early development determines economic safety during adulthood!

The Ugly Logic: «It’s Just Business!»
The insurance industry will say something like «we price risk; we must remain solvent.» While this is tecnically true, policy design is not morally neutral. A society that allows private underwriters to remove children from shared protection, is one that outsources care of its most vulnerable to market whims – and then wonders why inequality deepens.

And in countries like Norway, where (I’d say most) cases of childhood overweightness, or developmental differences are genetically or medically driven-(not socioeconomic), blanket underwriting rules that penalize «risk» are especially cruel, and often irrelevant to the true cause.
Parents who’ve then tried to insure healthy children, have had to fight denials and public battles – demonstrating that it isn’t just «acturial math», but intentional social exclusion:

Barna ingen vil forsikre. [….].
Barn som allerede er syke, eller som har en åpenbar risiko for å utvikle en kjent sykdom, vil få avslag.
(https://www.vg.no/dinepenger/sparing-og-investering/i/aPgoB5/barneforsikring-barna-ingen-vil-forsikre).

A Practical Illustration
As mentioned earlier in the post, around 5% of child-insurance applications may recieve reservations; and roughly 1% gets completely rejected. Despite being a small fraction, this still represents thousands of families each year, who must either accept part of the family’s exclusions from societal protection, or go withouth coverage. The emotional, economic and practical burden here is massive.

Some families have publicly reported refusals that appear to be based on identity or non-medical labels (e.g., gender identity) or on administrative categorizations, rather than a clear medical rationale
– a trend that has provoked public criticism and legal complaints:

Barn fikk avslag på forsikring […]. Begrunnelse: Barnet er kjønnsinkongruent.
(https://www.vg.no/nyheter/i/eJvjQM/barn-fikk-avslag-paa-forsikring-begrunnelse-kjoennsidentitet).


What Could Be Done (and What We Should Demand)

1. Regulate exclusions more strictly: Policymakers must reduce the leevay insurers have to reject or exclude children for congenial or developmental makers.

2. Transparancy in underwriting: Insurers shouls be required to provide clear, public explanations for denials and the exact evidence used.

3. Public alternatives or reinsurance: If private markets refuse, the state should step in with affordable non-discriminatory coverage options (to reinsure child policies so that risk is shared).

4. Ban genetic/ identity-based exclusion: Much like other countries do for certain insurance types, we should prevent decisions solely based on genetic markers or identity categories (Note: US GINA law forbids genetic discrimination in health/ employment contexts – Norway currently lacks a similar broad shield for private insurance).
(https://www.facingourrisk.org/blog/protections-against-genetic-discrimination-vs-pre-existing-conditions).

Devestating Two-Tier Society
If we allow insurers to create «insurable children» and «uninsurable children» we are choosing – like I’ve mentioned before, a class system by proxy. We are deciding, in spreadsheets and refusal letters, whose families will be forced intoo poverty when sickness or disability comes, and who will survive with their head held high, due to family-wealth/ parental contacts.

And that is not insurance companies protecting ‘risk‘ – its protecting privilige!

So, if you are a parent reading this: demand answers!
If you are a policymaker: first off, opt for better morals! Make the market serve society -not the other way around.
And lastly, if you are an insurer: rethink whether your profit model should include excluding children from basic economic dignity.

The last thing I wish to add is this,
despite my lack of insurance, I still count myself as one of the luckey ones! I have a family that supports me – that I support back, I have a place to live, food to eat, a place to train under supervision, and a wakable path to my doctor(s).
I am not writing this to nag about my own situation – I am writing this for those way worse off than me. They exist – en mass!
And when you in such a situation has to accept that some people will get a payout, while others in a similar situation wont, that will never feel fair.
And until we stop letting insurance companies define who is worthy of protection, nothing about that will change.

– Silje

Når Kompetanse Ikke Er Nok: Et Brev Til Norske Arbeidsgivere

(English version further down!)

Hvis du er en norsk arbeidsgiver, er denne til deg. Tenk ikke på det som en anklage, men heler som et speil. Et speil, som viser elementer flere av dere i åresvis har prøvd å børste under teppet.
Fordi, for hvert eneste år blir den egentlige sannheten i dette landet, tydelig for flere og flere arbeidstakere. Sannheten du som en arbeidsgiver har prøver å mykne opp med ord som «kjemi», «tillit» eller «sosial tilpasning».

Hvis du er en ansatt i det norske arbeidsmarketet, som har følt deg utenfor – spesielt hvis du på noen som helst måte er funksjonshemmet, neurodivergent eller ‘bare’ født utenfor det «riktige» nettverket – er denne også til deg.

—

La Oss Begynne Med Det Ingen Tør å Si Høyt
Av en eller annen grunn, later vi som om Norges ansettelses-problemer handler om mangel på ferdigheter, mangel på motivasjon, mangel på disiplin eller til og med personlighetsproblemer!
Vi later som om funksjonshemmede- eller andre ‘uegnede‘ søkere blir avvist fordi de «ikke kan holde tritt», mangler de nødvendige ferdighetene
– og at unge mennesker rett og slett faller utenfor arbeidssystemet fordi de ikke prøver «hardt nok».

Men sannheten, den egentlige sannheten – er både større og eldre enn noe av dette.
Sannheten er at Norge drives av nepotisme.
– ikke meritter
– ikke rettferdighet (til tross for at vi prøver å mobbe alle til å tenke sånn)
– og definitivt ikke likestilling!

Nei, nepotisme!
Og ja, vi kan kalle det, det det er; en form for korrupsjon kledd i en ullcardigan.

Hvorfor Nepotisme Virker Så Harmløst For Arbeidsgivere
Arbeidsgivere rettferdiggjør ofte nepotistiske ansettelser på måter som virker rimelige;
– det er lettere å ansette noen jeg allerede stoler på, som jeg vet vil gjøre sitt beste
– Vi kan ikke risikere å gjøre feil ansettelse, da det er altfor vanskelig å si opp folk i Norge
– Vi trenger stabilitet, ikke usikkerhet.

Og ja, på overflaten kan denne type mentalitet virke harmløs og veldig komfortabel:
I stedet for å ansette en usikker person med riktig kvalifikasjon/erfaring, ansetter man heller sønnen til kollegaen sin, eller søsterens venninne. Noen man gikk på skole med, eller en som trener samtidig som deg.

Kostnaden For Komfort: Et Stille Klassesystem
Men det som aldri nevnes, er den enorme kostnaden denne typen «komfort» fører til.
Fordi, den langsiktige kostnaden, er at Norge skaper seg et klassesystem. Dette i seg selv er problematisk, da de grunnleggende elementene i et moderne klassesamfunn er stikk motsatt av de verdiene norsk kultur hevder å pålegge sine borgere – hvor hele «regler for deg, ikke for meg» passer ikke inn.

Fra en veldig ung alder læres norske barn at vi alle er like for loven.
Men arbeidsstyrken vår forteller en helt annen historie.
Når «hvem du kjenner» blir viktigere enn «hva du vet»/«hva du kan gjøre»
– skaper du ikke bare eksklusivitet, du skaper et urettferdighet og uliket.

Når et lands lover gjentatte ganger brytes av et stort antall arbeidsgiverne – og denne ulovligheten rammer de mest sårbare borgerne hardest;
samtidig som norsk kultur hevder å være både rettferdig og lik for alle mennesker,
da syntes jeg nordmenn bør akseptere at de gamle norske verdiene er døde.

I stedet er «Det nye Norge» verken rettferdig eller likestilt. Her har hvor langt du kommer i livet ingenting å gjøre med dine egne ambisjoner – og alt å gjøre med hvem foreldrene dine er.
– Født funksjonsnedsatt? Neida, vi vil ikke ha deg.
– Blitt kronisk syk på grunn av helseproblemer? – Nei, vekk med deg!
– Nevrodivergent? – eh – Nei! Enten er du som alle de andre sauene, eller så er du ikke her i det hele tatt.
– Ungdom med lav inntekt? – Ehm; lærte ikke foreldrene dine deg å begynne å bygge nettverk i en alder av 5 år!!
– Innvandrere? – Neida! De stjeler både alle jobbene våre, samtidig som de bare sitter på sofaen og får penger fra staten!
– Folk hvis foreldre har feil nettverk, og som ikke bare kan ‘ringe’ noen – Looooser!!!

Som norske aviser skriver:

«Uten et godt nettverk er du sjanseløs i de spennende jobbene.»
– Dagbladet 2001
(https://www.aftenposten.no/norge/i/x3VWV/viktigere-aa-vaere-populaer-enn-dyktig-i-jobben)

Videre skrev Aftenposten i en artikken fra 2010 at det er :

«Viktigere å være populær enn dyktig i jobben […] Selv om du er den dyktigste faglig sett, så risikerer du likevel å havne bakerst i jobbkøen, fordi du ikke har de riktige kontaktene»
– Aftenposten
(https://www.dagbladet.no/nyheter/nettverk-er-nokkelen-for-jobb/65724831?)

I Februar 2025 kom også The Local Norway ut med artikkelen «A hidden job market’: Why networking in Norway is essential for finding a job».
(https://www.thelocal.no/20250204/norways-hidden-job-market-why-networking-is-essential-if-you-want-to-find-work?).

Dette er med andre ord ikke en hemmelig fakta, og utviklingen av dette har pågått i minst 20 år.

Konsekvensene Ingen Vil Diskutere
Realiteten er at når arbeidsgivere bare ansetter sine egne kretser, gjør dere følgende:
– Dere undergraver innovasjon; uansett hvor smart, hvor innovativ og hvor kreativ du er, vil du aldri bli bedre enn den beste i kretsen. Når alle da er blitt like gode stagnerer utviklingen.
– Dere straffer kompetanse; hva er poenget med å bruke tid, energi og penger på å utvikle seg, dersom det som faktisk spiller noen rolle er hvem du kjenner?
– Dere lønner kjennskap fremfor ferdigheter; korrupsjon er korrupsjon uansett hvordan man vrir og venner på det.
– Dere setter de mest sårbare i en evig ulempe med sykdom eller funksjonshemming; mange av oss lever under fattigdomsgrensen, og uten mulighet til å bygge ‘attraktive nettverk’ vil våre barn ende opp uten de samme mulighetene som andres barn. Det å straffe barn for at foreldrene er født/ er blitt syke, er ummeneskelig i seg selv.
– Dere skaper fiendtlighet for alle som ikke sosialiserer lett; Mange nevrodivergente har vansker for å sosialiseres fra en veldig ung alder. Istedet for hjelp og mulighet, blir disse satt utenfor, ofte uten å skjønne hvorfor selv.
– Dere presser marginalisert ungdom mot gjengmedlemskap og kriminelle grupper: Ungdom som vokser opp i et samfunn der de hverken aksepteres eller får tilgang til muligheter som andre rundt dem får, vil ofte være lettere lurt inn i kriminelle miljøer, som det senere er nesten umulig å komme ut av.
– Dere kaster bort offentlige penger: på overdrevne byråkratiske stillinger som betyr lite i det store og hele, på bekostning av stillinger og samfunnsgrupper hvor den samme pengesummen kan være uvurderlig.
– Dere lar kvalifiserte mennesker falle mellom sprekkene: til fordel for nabosønnen hvis far er en advokat.
– Dere gjør Norge mindre rettferdig og mer ulik – år for år (her trengs det vel ingen forklaring?).

Og dette er ikke milde problemer heller, de er et store, og på et nasjonalt nivå!

En Kort, Men Ærlig Personlig Bemerkning
Som tenåring ble jeg selv ansatt i småjobber grunnet nettverket jeg og mine foreldre hadde. Jeg skriver ikke dette for å påstå at jeg selv ikke har sett de individuelle, positive sidene ved dette. Det er heller nettopp fordi jeg har vært vitne til det, både fra den positive – og den negative siden at jeg vet hvor dypt og urettferdig systemet er.

Et Siste Ord Til Norske Arbeidsgivere: Dette Er Ditt Vendepunkt!
Hvis du som arbeidsgiver ønsker ekte kompetanse, er du nødt til å åpne rekrutteringsprosessen.
Hvis du vil ha lojalitet på arbeidsplassen, må du slutte å bare ansette tremenningens beste venn.
Ønsker du mangfold, innovasjon og fremtiden du hevder å støtte, må du velge personen med ferdigheter over personen du deler kaffe med hver dag.
– Og for pokker, hvis du ikke er interessert i noen av disse tingene, ha integriteten til å innrømme det!

Norges arbeidsstyrke skal ikke være en privat klubb!

Og til dere ansatte som føler seg usynlige.

Vit at du sannsynlig aldri har vært problemet.
Systemet vi er tvunget til å eksistere i, er problemet.
Din verdi måles ikke etter hvor mange mennesker som tilfeldigvis kjenner navnet ditt. Kompetanse din er der, og den er sann
– selv om portvokterne til betalt arbeid later som de ikke ser den, til fordel for sin nyutdannede niese eller nevø.

Enten det er nå eller mye senere, vil fremtiden forandre seg. Den er rett og slett nødt til det, for å ikke stagnere. Det er bare å se på historien.
Men for at dette skal kunne endre seg i løpet av min levetid, er vi nødt til å begynne å fortelle sannheten om systemene vi har bygd.

Systemene vi lever i.

Og erkjenne hvorvidt vi godtar de eller ikke.

—

– ​​Silje

________________________________________________________________________________________

When Competence Isn’t Enough: A Letter to Norwegian Employers

If you are a Norwegian Employer, this is for you.
Not as an accusation, but rather as a mirror – because every worker in this country can already see the real truth you keep trying to soften with words like «good chemistry», «trust» or «cultural fit».

Now, If you are an employee who has felt shut out – especially if you are in any way disabled, neurodivergent, or simply born withouth the «right» network – this is for you too.

Let’s Begin With What No One Dares to Say Aloud
For some reason, we pretend that Norway’s hiring problems are about the lack of skills, lack of motivation, lack of discipline or even personality-issues.
We pretend that disabled (or otherwise»unfit») applicants are rejected because they «can’t keep up», lacks the nessessary skills – and that young people simply fall outside the system because they aren’t trying «hard enough»

But the truth – the real truth – is alot older than any of this;
Because, Norway runs on nepotism.
– not on merit
– not on fairness (despite trying to bully everyone into thinking as such).
– and definately not equality
Nepotism!
And yes, we can call it what it is: corruption in a wool cardigan.

Why Nepotism Feels So Harmless to Employers
Employers often justify nepotistic hirers in wannabe-reasonable ways;
– it’s easier to hire someone I already trust, who I know will do their best
– We can’t risk making the wrong hire, as it’s way to difficult to fire people in Norway
– We need stability, not uncertanty.

And sure, on the surfass, this kind of mentality may seem harmless:
Instead of hiring an uncertain person with the right credentials/ experience, you hire your colleagues son, or your sister’s friend. Someone you went to school with, or someone you workout with.

But what is never mentioned is the huge cost this kind of ‘comfort’ leads to.

The Cost of Comfort: A Quet Class System
From a very young age, Norwegian children are taught that we are all equal under the law.
But our workforce tells a very different story.
When «who you know» becomes more important than «what you know»/ «what you can do» – you don’t just create exclusivity, you create a class society.

And that is extremely hypocritical, as the fundamentals of class societies, is the exact opposite of the values Norwegian culture claims to impose on it’s citizens, and the whole «rules for thee, not for me» does not fit in.
Norwegian culture claims to be fair and equal to all people
– but when a countries laws are countinously broken by a large amount of its employers – and this unlawfullness affects the most vulnerable citizens the worst,
I think Norwegians should accept that the old Norwegian values are dead.
Instead, the ‘New Norway’ is neither fair nor equal. Here, how far you come in life has nothing to do with your own ambitions – and everything to do with who your parents are.
– Born disabled? Nah, we don’t want you.
– Gotten chronically ill due to illness? – Nope, away with you!
– Neurodivergent? – Nu uh!, Either you’re like all the other sheeps, or you’re not here at all.
– Low Income youth? – Umm – didn’t your parents teach you to start networking at the age of 5!!
– Immigrants? – Heck no! They steal all jobs that are payd unlawfully little, and only give it to families abroad!!
– People who’s parents have the wrong network, and who can’t just ‘make a call’ – Looooser!!!

As Norwegian newspapers write:

«Without a good network, you have no chance in the exciting jobs.»
– Dagbladet, 2001
(https://www.aftenposten.no/norge/i/x3VWV/viktigere-aa-vaere-populaer-enn-dyktig-i-jobben)

Furthermore, Aftenposten wrote in an article from 2010 that it is:

«More important to be popular than skilled at work […] Even if you are the most skilled academically, you still risk ending up at the back of the job queue, because you do not have the right contacts»
– Aftenposten, 2010
((https://www.dagbladet.no/nyheter/nettverg-er-nokkelen-for-jobb/65724831?)

In February 2025, The Local Norway also published the article
«A hidden job market’: Why networking in Norway is essential for finding a job».
(https://www.thelocal.no/20250204/norways-hidden-job-market-why-networking-is-essential-if-you-want-to-find-work?).

In other words, this is not a secret fact, and the development of this has been going on for at least 20 years.

The Fallout No One Wants to Discuss
The reality is that when employers only hire from their own circles, you are doing the following:

– You are making Norway less fair and more unequal – year after year (no explanation needed here, right?).

– You are undermining innovation; no matter how smart, innovative and creative you are, you will never be better than the best in the circle. When everyone is equally good, development stagnates.

– You are punishing competence; what is the point of spending time, energy and money on developing yourself, if what actually matters is who you know?

– You are rewarding knowledge over skills; corruption is corruption no matter how you twist and turn it.

– You are putting the most vulnerable at a perpetual disadvantage with illness or disability; many of us live below the poverty line, and without the opportunity to build ‘attractive networks’ our children will end up without the same opportunities as other people’s children. Punishing children for being born/having become ill is inhumane in itself.

– You are creating hostility towards anyone who does not socialize easily; Many neurodivergents have difficulty socializing from a very young age. Instead of help and opportunity, they are left out, often without realizing why themselves.

– You are pushing marginalized youth towards gang membership and criminal groups: Young people who grow up in a society where they are neither accepted nor given access to opportunities that others around them have, will often be more easily lured into criminal environments, from which it is later almost impossible to get out.

– You are wasting public money: on excessive bureaucratic positions that mean little in the grand scheme of things, at the expense of positions and social groups where the same amount of money can be invaluable.

– You are letting qualified people fall through the cracks: in favor of the neighbor’s son whose father is a lawyer.

And this is not a mild problem, it’s a huge, national one.

A Brief But Honest Personal Note
As a teenager, I myself was employed in odd jobs due to the network that my parents and I had. I am not writing this to claim that I have not seen the individual, positive sides of this myself. Rather, it is precisely because I have witnessed it, from both the positive and negative sides, that I know how deeply and unjust the system is.

A Final Word to Employers: This Is Your Turning Point
A final word to Norwegian employers: This is your turning point!
If you want real expertise as an employer, you need to open up your recruitment process.
If you want loyalty in the workplace, you need to stop hiring just the best friend of the three.
If you want diversity, innovation, and the future you claim to support, you need to choose the person with the skills over the person you share coffee with every day.
– And damn, if you are not interested in any of these things, have the integrity to admit it!

Norway’s workforce should not be a private club!

And To Employees Who Feel Invisible.
Know that you have probably never been the problem.
The system we are forced to exist in is the problem.
Your value is not measured by how many people happen to know your name. Your expertise is there, and it is true
– even if the gatekeepers to paid work pretend not to see it, in favor of their newly graduated niece or nephew.

Whether it is now or much later, the future will change. It simply has to, in order not to stagnate. You just have to look at history.
But for this to change in my lifetime, we have to start telling the truth about the systems we have built.

The systems we live in.

And acknowledge whether we accept them or not.

​​​​Silje


The Distance Between Us: Remote Work and the Disabled Reality

Back to 2020 – The Year Everything Shifted
When the world shut down in 2020, many able-bodied people experienced working from home for the first time.
During this time, they discovered what disabled people had been saying for decades:

  • working from home reduces energy use
  • commuting should not be a moral work requirement
  • the choice of flexibility creates healthier days, and happier people
  • the concept of productivity is not tied to litteral office-work

Since then, the years that followed has left even more people permanently changed. Long Covid rose globally, and chronic illnesses increased. It was as if – over night, millions of people were suddenly living in bodies they couldn’t recognise; bodies that behaved vastly different than they did before.

So, when the world suddenly decided it was «time to get back to the office»
many newly disabled people were unable to do so.
Suddenly, remote work was not just a convenient option. For many it became a lifeline. And for a moment, for many of us who were already disabled pre-covid, it looked like the future work-marked would finally include us.

But then comes the real question – the one I’ve been asking myself more and more lately; was remote work ever built with disabled people in mind?
Or was it just built for the able-bodied people who temporarily needed it?

The Promise of Remote Work
Remote work holds enormous potential for disabled people:

  • fewer sensory triggers
  • more control over energy and environment
  • the ability to rest, stretch and manage a variety of sympoms
  • no inaccesible public transit
  • flexibility around medical appointments
  • lower social pressure

    For many of us, remote work felt like the beginning of a revolution. A moment when the world caught up to the reality disabled people had lived in all along.
    But as we all should know by now, potential is not the same as design,
    – and accessibility is not the same as inclusion.
    While remote work it has the potential to be extremelty liberating – it is often designed and illustrated as the digital version of jobs, with the same structural barriers as before.

    Thus, many disabled people report; stricter scedules, despite the word «flexible» being featured in job descriptions. Others experience «zoom-fatigue», especially for those of us with neurological or sensory disabilities. Furthermore, while it varies between countries – some employers have expected constant availability, and several organizations lacks clear accomodation policies.
    Many disabled workers with cognitive or physical needs – have also experienced the lack of adaptable digital tools – which makes remote work difficult, if said tools are nessesarry to be able to work in the first place.
    Others have also experienced a pressure to keep their cameras on, despite it being unessesarry for the work they do.
    And lastly, many employees experienced a form of isolation without proper support – infrastructure, which can take a toll on anyone .

Truth be told, remote work only seems inclusive, when the people designing it assumes everyone doing it is able-bodied.
And so the hopeful dream quickly becomes another exhausting reality check.

My Own Experience: A Disabled Worker in a Digital World
As a disabled individual, I can during good weeks work up to 40% – if I’m careful.
I have creative skills, practical experience and education
– as well as a genuine desire to contribute something meaningful.
Remote work should, tecnically speaking be the perfect sollution for someone like me; someone who are perfectly able to work by themselves – but also unable/ unnalowed to take rushtime public-transit or drive a car.

Yet, in the past few years, none of these things have helped me, because I don’t know the right people, and I don’t have the energy to go out and fakely befriend them either. Thus, I’ve applied for job after job, with no luck.
Instead, I’ve faced descrimination on interviews, emails, and sometimes even face-to-face. Is this illegal? – yes. Is this common – even more yes.

And I am far from being alone in this!

Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@ritualvisuals?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Ritual Visuals</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/macbook-pro-beside-black-click-pen-and-white-ceramic-mug-on-brown-wooden-table-q1UY8xFyTmM?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a>

Image by: Ritual-visuals @Unsplash

Employers seem to love the idea of remote work – until the employee is disabled. Then suddenly, it’s a problem.
It’s almost like remote work is framed as a benefit for busy, high-performing professionals who dreams of flexibility.

But in reality, the concept of remote work has been a basic accomodation practice disableed people have needed for decades.
So, I decided to shift my energy elsewhere. I write. I create. I’ve made my own practice of ‘remote-work’ that is built around my own needs, and my own scedule.
Thus, I’m able to productively use my energy during the hours I have
– and it has made me much happier for it!

Where did remote work go wrong?

«Remote work should not be a privilige.
For disabled people, it’s accessibility – and accessibility is a human right».
– Alice Wong, disability activist & founder of Disability Visibility


The current work model fails disabled people in many ways:

  1. it assumes productivity looks the same for everyone…
    Some of us work best in 2-hour bursts.
    Some need mid-day rest
    Some need to handle medical routine in between tasks.
    ¨¨¨~Productivity should be measured by output, not through hours glued to a screen.
  2. It wasn’t built with energy limitations in mind.
    Fatigue is not the same as laziness.
    Executive dysfunction is not disinterest.
    ~Disability is not something you «manage around»- it’s a reality shaped by body, biology and boundaries.
  3. It excludes disabled voices by design.
    Companies build remote work systems without consulting the people who need – and rely on them the most.
    ~Thus, the systems becomes an echo of the office – not an improvement of it.

What remote work could become – if we chose to listen

While I’ve painted quite a muddy picture, I still believe that remote work could become revolutionary. But for that to happen, businesses – and the world at large needs to be willing to listen, and to do the nessessary work, for all people.

In my mind this is a future where:

  • meeting default to asynchronous communication
  • scedules adapt to body rhytms
  • employers understand energy budgeting
  • disabled workers help design digital tools
  • output matters more than presence
  • camera – off culture is normalized
  • accessibility is built – in, not added later.

Final Reflection: A task for my readers
This week, I want you to explore your own relationship to «work».
Ask yourself:

  • What does productivity actually mean for my body?
  • what daily rhytms supports my health, my body, and my mind?
  • if remote work felt freeing – how so?
  • What would a truly inclusive workday/ week look like for me?

Write down your answers, let yourself dream a little.
Because the current systems may not be built for all of us,
but that does not mean that we cannot imagine.
After all, if we imagine enough, we might be able to create new systems ourself, and ask for something better.

– Silje

When «Taboo» Becomes Toxic; The Fetishization of Disabled Bodies Online

Ableism is not just about hatred – sometimes it’s about desire.»
– Andrew Gurza, disability activist

The Hidden Danger Behind «Desire»
Lately, there’s been growing discussions about a deeply uncomfortable trend: the fetishization of disabled people – especially young disabled people. Whether it be on social media, dating apps, and even in online communities.
Don’t get me wrong, disabled people have desires, wants and the potential for sexual attraction as much as anyone else – but what we are talking about here is not just about missplaced attraction. It’s about objectifying disability, and reducing a person’s identity and humanity to a single factor: their body, difference – their «otherness» alone.

«To be seen only for what makes you different… is to not be seen at all.»
– Silje Elsrud Yttervik

Le Monde recently published a piece, where several young disabled people shared how they recieved hypersexualized messages that focused explicitly on their disability. This could be all from prostetics, scars, to moving with crutches or in a wheelchair (LeMonde.fr).

These experiences, unfortionately aren’t rare – they’re part of a sinister pattern rooted in ableism, where disability is not fully acknowledged as part of a person, but fetishized as a spectacle or as a kink.

Why it’s So Harmful
Fetishization does more than ignore people’s boundaries. it often:

  • Reduces a person to their physical or visible «difference» rather than seeing them as a complex, full human.
  • Risks emotional and sexual exploitation, because their fetishizer may prioritize their own fantasy over the disabled person’s agency or comfort.
  • Reinforces a broader culture of dehumanization – where disability isn’t just misunderstood, but also eroticized in a way that strips away a person’s dignity.

    Furthermore, research also backs this up. A study on disability pornography (PubMed) points out how certain forms of sexual content celebrate «vulnerability» and impaired agency in women with disabilities – often linking it to power and dominance. And this is not about intimacy – it’s about control disguised as desire.

Back in Time:
When Disabled Bodies Were Spectacle Before They Were People
To truly understand why fetishization cuts so deeply for many disabled people today, we have to look backwards – to a time when disabled bodies were not just stared at, but also sold as curiosities, entertainment or ‘marvels‘.

Throughout the 18th and the 19th centuries, what we now call a part of the disabled community was often introduced to the wider world through circus-sideshows, ‘freakshows’, travelling exhibitions, and wider cabinets of ‘curiositites’. And they were introduced as ‘marvels’, ‘oddities’, ‘wonders’ and ‘specimens’, just barely considered as people!

Many were born with congenial conditions, chronic illnesses, or unusual physical traits and differences – that medical science simply didn’t yet understand.
Some became famous in ways they never fully controlled: like ‘hairy women‘ with hypertrichosis, conjoined twins, people unusually large or small in stature, those with growth disorders, or skeletal/ visible deformities…
Thus, instead of recieving care or respect, they became objects of horror and fascination.
And this fascination includes fetishization.

Many had their bodies marketed as exotic, erotic, or monstrous – often all at once. Posters drew- and described them in sensual or titillating language, framing their differences as something to-be-staired-at, consumed or desired in a way that simply erased their personhood.

Because, what was fetishized was never their humanity – only their difference.
And this history is not as distant as we’d like to believe!
For centuries, disabled people were only allowed visibility in two forms; through pity or through fetish.
Neither left room for dignity, autonomy, or complexity.

So when disabled people today speak about the pain of fetishization, it is not only about the present moment. It is about the heavy, inherited memory of being displayed rather than understood. Of being commodified rather than cared for. And of being reduced to a spectacle – first in a tent – now, too often on TikTok and the likes.
It’s almost like the world has changed, yet the structures around us have not.

TheNorwegian/ Youth Perspective
In Norway, this issue intersects with serious gaps in conversation about sexuality, youth and disability. According to Unge Funksjonshemmede – a national organization for young people with disabilities, there is a notable presence of «sexualiserte hatytringer» (sexualized hatespeech) on social media (Regjeringen.no).
Their reports highlights how disabled youth experience negative attention that is explicitly tied to their disability: through objectification, pressure and even harassment.
In their campaign Sex som Funker, they further explore how difficult it is to address sexual desire, consent and safety when people treat disabled bodies as inherently different, or as a source of fantasy (Unge Funksjonshemmede).

My Own Reflection: Why This Hit’s Close to Home
I’ve personally thought alot about how visibility works, both in general – and while working on my MA thesis: Modern Marvels: The Heritage of Exhibited Disability.
And, for most of us (disabled or not) – visibility is about being seen and wanted, but not about being sexualized.
Because, when people fetishize disability, they don’t necessary see the person in question; they see a fragment of them – like a fantasy living rent free in their brain.

And it hurts too, to realize how many conversations around disability and attraction that is still rooted in power – not mutual desire, but domination or infantlization. And that makes me pause: for how can we talk about sex safely, when the opposite of invisibility can feel so dangerous?

Reclaiming Our Sexuality
But there is hope. And there is power within us.
Many disabled activists, have long fought to reclaim both narrative, desire and agency. People like Andrew Gurza, who started the hashtag #DisabledPeopleAreHot – not as a fetish, but as a declaration: Yes, our bodies are valid, whole and worthy of desire. Organizations like Sins Invalid push even further: by celebrating erotic, empowered, and disabled bodies – challenging ideas of beauty and sexuality in itself.

We can demand more visibility, and we can demand more respect.
Through consent, and humanizing desire.

—

A Task For Reflection
This week, I invite you to reflect (and maybe share):

  1. Have you ever recieved unwanted sexual attention because of your disability? (Or been objectified in any way)?
    – or have you maybe ever fetishized someone else’s disability?
  2. How did it make you feel – seen? used? unsafe? powerful? mixed?
  3. If you could speak to the people who fetishize disability, what would you want them to understand about you – not just your body/ mind, but you?



    – Silje

When Inclusion Becomes a Trend – But Accessibility Isn’t

«Representation is powerful – but inclusion is action».
– Stella Young

Scroll through social media for no more than five minutes, and you’ll see it: brands posting proud photos of employees with disabilities, campaigns celebrating «accessible workplaces» – or even #Inclusion trending in stories and feeds.
It feels hopeful… Like a promise.
But sometimes promises fall flat.
Just take a look at the job adverts you’ve applied for. Or the interviews you’ve attended. And the rejections you’ve gotten from it.

I do, and cant help but sit and wonder how many of those inclusion posts were just that – posts?

The Trend of Inclusion
From 2024 and onward,majour industries and high-profile companies have continued to declare that they are embracing disability inclusion.
The data however, tells a different story.
According to the OECD report Disability, Work and Inclusion (2022), people with disabilities in many countries remain about 40% less likely to be employed than those without (OECD).
Furthermore, in the Nordic Region, a deep-dive intoo the matter found the disability employment gap (DEG) shrank only a fifth between 2014 and 2023 – and that, despite having higher education, people with disabilities still faced majour barriers while looking for employment (pub.norden.org).

So yes – inclusion is being talked about. But accessibility; real adaption, actual hiring of disabled people? That’s still lagging behind.

The Gap Between Trend and Reality
Let’s pull apart why brand-inclusion and actual employment diverge so much:

  • Regardless of fields, regardless og companies – and regardless of whether its (tecnically) legal or not, hiring is still heavily biased. Studies in Norway found that even qualified candidates with disclosed disabilities recieve fewer callbacks than non-disabled peers.(pub.norden.org).
  • Many organizations treat accomodation as cost, not as an investment for further progress – as symbolic inclusions is easier than structural change. (sjdr.se)
  • Inclusion campaigns often focus on public images (representation) – rather than action (accessibility). A ramp might be built, but the role remains inaccesible for anyone needing to use it.
  • A 2017 statistics article from Norway found the employment rate among disabled people aged 15 – 66, was only 43% – compared to 73% for the whole population (SSB).
    Then a recent 2023 update from Statistisk Sentralbyrå shows the employment rate of people with disabilities to be 52%, – while it is about 81% for the rest of the population (Statistikmyndigheten SCB).
  • Lastly, a study on employer attitudes in Norway, containing 951 Norwegian employers, and 8404 job seeker profiles, found that there’s a significatn hiring gap for candidates with disabilities – and that this gap varies substantially by industry. (sjdr.se).

All in all, the problem is pretty simple: when inclusion is a trend – we, as in disabled people, risk being celebrated tokens; visible for the photo, but invisible for the payroll.

My Story: When Accessibility Fails the Trend
While I have already mentioned this many times before, I wanted to reiterate it for the purpose of this post.
For two years I sent in over 400 job applications with no luck.
Despite a resume filled with various experience, despite my education and despite my ambition, I’ve repeatedly hit walls with no explanaition.

Jobs that said «flexible work-time» that actually meant «always be on». Interviews that praised my qualifications – with words like «With that resumé we have to get you intoo work!» – only to shut down right in my face.
Or several offers of volunteer work, but no paid employment…
Because I can’t pretend I don’t have epilepsy. I mean, spend more than an hour minutes with me, and you’ll come to find out one way or another…
And, legal or not – many workplaces still operate as if disability is a «nice to have» extra, not central to how work is organized.

And this infuritates me deeply. Not because of my story alone – but because I know people with several disabilities who are practically the heart and soul of their workplace. Who – when sick or on vacation, leaves the whole space in an uproar. And yet they’re supposedly ‘unessesary?» – Give me a break!

However, during this time of mindless searching and applying, I realised something…
While the trend might shine lights on inclusion, the system itself doesn’t always move. Because, it’s foundations aren’t built for people like me.
So, Instead of feeling sad or angry about it, I decided to shift instead,
Instead of waiting for the system to change, I began building my own. I created my first book – a productivity planner designed for me – and for all others with disabled-rhytms. I launched this blog, which is a nice way for me to feel a sense of purpose in my daily-life, even if no one ends up reading it.
Because, when the world won’t hire you, sometimes you have no choice but to build your own path, and just hope it leads somewhere…

Reframing the Narrative
So, here’s the good news, from me to you; you don’t have to wait for the trend to meet you.
You can define your own form of inclusion.
Instead of measuring yourself by the world’s blueprint of «full-time work»,
you measure your own blueprint of what you can do, what you value, and how you want to live. Sure, you may not be able to change your disabilities. If that’s a fact, the better way is to find a way to live with it, to the best of your ability. You buid tools for yourself – (like I build my planner) – through forms of creative work (or something else) – that fits you.
And you do this on your own time!

__

A Task for You
Choose one action this week:

  • Send one message to a company asking how they include disabled team members (not just if they do) – ask real questiuons.
  • OR, launch one project for yourself – a blog post, a creative piece, a micro service – and label it: «I made this for me, because I won’t wait for someone else to do it».
    Record how it feels. What changes? What stays the same?
    Let it be your measure of inclusion.

– Silje

The Shape of Hope: Redefining What Progress Looks Like

Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.»
– J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings


The Shape of Hope
For many, the ‘standardized’ concept of hope is an unfamiliar subject. It tends to move quickly and burn bright; like changing the world overnight.
But whether we are aware of it or not, the shape of hope is not tied to this ultra-speedy nature.
Most of my own interaction with the subject, is a type of hope that moves kind of like water; it’s slow – quiet, and utterly relentless!
With this type of hope, progress doesn’t follow the world’s idea of sucess. It’s not about sprinting to the finish line as we’ve been told to do, but rather about adapting to the current; flowing ahead live rivers carving through stone; patient and determined.

Whether your own experience with the feeling of hope stems from the ‘standardized’ or ‘slower’ type – for many disabled people, we have no choice in the matter…
In the last few years, I’ve learned to stop measuring my life by the pace other expect.
What’s interesting about that (at least to me), is that I’ve never really cared about other’s people’s perception of me – and I’ve never truly done anything for the validation of other people. Yet, even I have had personal expectations towards the progression of my own life, which have largely been based on the ‘standardized’ progress of other people.

In some ways this can be good, for finding out where you belong on the ‘scale of life’. Yet in other ways, it can lead to people acting inauthentic and misaligned with their own hopes and dreams; which in turn may lead to feeling even worse about onesself.

So, Instead of attempting to continue my life’s progression through the pace of someone who isn’t partially disabled, I decided to follow my hopes and dreams through the lens of someone who is. Following a pace that is fitted for me, recognizing that I might have to do thing differently than what I was taught growing up – and recognizing that this does not have to be a negative adaption.

And the result of that, has changed not only the way I view my own life, through its bits and pieces, but also the way i look at hope.

Doing things slowly, just means that the foundation is built before what makes you see true progress. In turn, said progress is much more likely to stick – and adapt whenever it needs to.

As an example;
I’ve wanted to loose weight since I was a preteen, but it was only during the last two years that I’ve been able to loose it. By that time I’d, consulted a woman about my eating habits – found out it was my genetical diseases and not my diet that kept me overweight (for the most part) – and (despite my scepticism), when I finally agreed to try these ‘diet perscriptions’ I suddenly began loosing weigh.

By that time, however I had already been working out with a physiotheraphist for almost 10 years, building muscle. I’d started slowly bying nice clothes in smaller sizes, while also learning how to sow in various clothes myself. I had a small – yet effective skincare routine, to stop my skin from sagging to much, and had a list of healthy meals to make sure I ate what my body needed.
Furthermore, the things I used to dislike about my body (like having a very thick bone structure) suddenly worked in my favour, as my very slow progression and heavy training lead to loads more muscle, and very little loose skin overall.
All this was my foundation, and it has been adapting constantly!
Now, I’m still not finished with my weight-loss; will in fact probably take another full year before I’m done, but now that my foundation is fully set, the hope of being as healthy and fit as I wish is much – much closer!

Progress Loves Progress
Interestingly eniough, I noticed that as soon as my hope of loosing weight started taking a turn for the better, so did several of my other hopes and dreams.
And when I look at what I’ve actually built during the last two years, I am truly proud of myself (which isnot something I often get)!
I managed to built a blog despite being terrible at internett-stuff in general.
I made a hardcopy book from scratch, despite not knowing the full production beforehand.
I started making videos and recording monologues, despite not knowing how to properly edit it – something I never thought I’d be able to do!

And each of these are the beginning of a new foundation.
Each took time, energy and heavy faith in myself, when the world didn’t see what I could do. You know, the kind of faith that came from me showing myself that when I hope for something (like loosing weigh) I manage to do it…

And when I stopped waiting for permission and just started creating something of my own, I realized something radical: even if other’s can’t see my potential, I do.
And that is enough to keep growing!

What Progress Looks Like
Progress for me, isn’t about speed or competition. It’s about direction.
I would much rather move slowly and steadily the right way – one step, one breath and one word at a time – than risk being torn to pieces with a limb in every direction.
Others might differ.
Many, especially those whose potential speed exceeds my own, might use said speed to have faster, more scattered progress – to each their own.
Sometimes, hope is about trusting that ones own path, however winding, has a meaning. That every small act; a sentence written, a post published, a quiet morning spent reflecting – is progress in itself.

After all, hope of progress can be found where you’re able to look for it!

«Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense.»
– Václav Havel

So if you’re reading this and you feel left behind, invisible, or unsure of where you’re heading – Take a breath. And pause.
Look at how far you’ve already come, what you’ve already built in the dark. And believe that you are further along than you think.

Because, hope isn’t a finish line. Rather, it’s the shape you carve out with your own persistance; fast or slow, steady – and unimaginably strong!

—

Photo by Rosie Kerr on Unsplash
Image by: Rosie Kerr @Unsplash

Reflection Task
This week, take 15 minutes to write down three things you’ve done during 2025 that past you thought was impossible. Don’t measure them by how big or ‘impressive’ they are – measure them by how much they mean to you.
This is the shape of hope!

– Silje

When the World Won’t Hire You – Build Your Own

«Access is not just about ramps and braille; it’s about relationships built on trust and care».
– Mia Mingus

For me, every application has felt like throwing a bottle intoo a stormy sea; or like waking up in lack of energy – and just throwing whatever you stil have away; completely pointless.

For two years now I’ve pressed send – applying to over 400 job applications.
Over 400 times of reajusting my cover letter, adjusting my pitch – and over 400 times of landing- nothing.
Most of the time this has been because I am partially disabled. Because I can only work up to 40%.
But, even if I’m applying to a 20% part-time position. Even if I am highly overqualified – or with just the right qualification, the majority of current hirers will exclude those of us born with disabilities. Even when it is illegal to do so.

The Inaccessibility of Work
In Norway today, research shows a clear truth; people with functioning impairments face a drastically lower rate of employment. One study found that only 38% of persons with disabilities were in paid work – compared to 78% of the general population.
(uni.oslomet.no)

Further, in experiment after experiment – a job seeker who used a wheelchair was only half as likely to be invited to an interview as someone equally qualified without impairments (OsloMet).
And yet- discrimination on the basis of disability is illegal in Norway. On paper at least… In practice; the system still says no.
(Norges Handikapforbund).

So, what does one become when the world refuses to hire you?
You become your own opportunity.

«Disabled people have always been inventing futures from scraps».
– Leah Lakshmi Piepzna – Samarasinha

Reframing Value
Because here’s the thing: the labour market is built on assumptions of constant energy, mobility, the «non-stop», and the»never slow down» practice.
In other words, you should be 20 years old – and have 25 years experience…???
As stupid as these labour-practice ideas seem, they are in reality even worse!
First of all, as a large chunk of disabled people are just kept out of work all-together, only to then be blamed by the rest for not working.
Secondly, the current labour rhytm is ill-fitting for practically everyone above 30 years old – leading to many (non-disabled ) people facing burnout and/ or chronic-illnesses.

I am both disabled and over 30. And my life is built on a completely different rhytm. it is a rhytm of adaption, of fine-tuning, of working in a different way – not working less.
Because we have to, we learn to adjust to daily pain, to weekly plan around fatigue, to create value in bursts of energy rather than a marathon.
And those are valueable skills that would be good for everyone!
Yet, the current system call them «unfit».

But, let me be clear; it is not you who is unfit – it is the current job market.
Too overthrown by corruption in the form of nepotism. In the form of discrimination. By the lack of logic – and lack of empathy.

Turning the Rejection into Creation
So I decided: If the doors won’t open for me, I’ll build one myself.
While others asked: «why won’t you take a job?» I answered by finishing the first edition of my productivity book – a tool born not from triumph, but for necessity.
I sculpted my own work from my strengths, my small capacity, my creative spark.
I chose to channel my energy where It could flourish.

And you know what? It’s terrifying –
because you are making yourself vulnerable again. The difference is that this time,
you can choose the terms yourself.
You can build around your own pace. While also taking your health intoo account.
Whether we like it or not, the world is changing. The definitions of work are shifting. And there is space for your version of it too.


From Surviving to Structuring
Out of these two years of applications, rejections, and massive fatigue, came something I never expected – a system for living.
My daily planner grew slowly, piece by piece, from the chaos of disability and the need for balance.

it’s a tool designed for our kind of time; flexible, honest and forgiving.
I spent two years creating it, to help both myself and other disabled people find their rhytm, clarity – and a sense of empowerment in their daily life.
If you would like to see it, you can find it here: [https://accordingtosilje.com/butikk/] on my blog.
This is not just a planner, but a quiet act of resistance: proof that disabled lives can be structured beautifully, and intentionally – on our own terms.

__

A Task For You
Think of one thing you are really good at – not the thing you think you should do, but the thing your body and mind naturally return to.
Make it intoo a 30-day project, and see what comes out of it.
Forget the job boards.
Don’t ask for permission to do it.
Build your own path.
Then you share it – and celebrate it!

– Silje

The Witch’s body: The Sacred Feminine and The Ecology of Disability

«The body is a landscape, a geography to be explored»
– Andrea Olsen

Whether we as humans are aware of it or not, there’s an old rhytm that hums beneath the noise of the world. This rhytm is older than progress, older than politics – and older than pain. It beats in the soil and bone alike; whispering gently; you are of the earth. You were never seperated from it.

The Ecology of being disabled
To live in a disabled body is to live as the land does – with seasons, boundaries and unexpected weather. There are droughts of energy, floods of emotion, and soft mossy recoveries after storms. There are parts of us that bloom – while other parts ache, but all parts belong to the same ecosystem.

Because, whether we are willing to accept it or not, the body that cannot be «fixed» to be like ‘everyone else’ is not broken – it’s just remnants of ancient beings.
Go back just a hundred years from now, and see how today’s standardized body of ‘everyone else’ was just a lucky exeption to the rest of society.

For most of human history, some form of disability was the norm. These bodies knew how to adapt, how and when to rest, how to grow sideways instead of upwards when in need; like roots twisting around a stone, one way or another finding its way to the light.
And with this, nature does not rush itself into repair. It integrates the wound. A fallen tree becomes the home of moss and fungus; scar tissue becomes a garden of wild-flowers.

Within this point of view, disability is not a detour from ‘natural’ humanity, – it is humanity, unmasked to its core. It’s the reminder that the sacred feminine – the energy of nurture, renewal and indurance itself – has always existed. Not through her perfection, but through her persistence.

As such, the disabled body, in all its forms, holds the same slow wisdom that ancient landscapes do: in knowing when to conserve energy, when to open – and when to fall into darkness in preperation for the next sunrise.
Many disabled and chronically-ill people learn to read the world in ways others have forgotten. In a way, our bodies become barometers, calendars, like quiet prophets of the natural world.
To use myself as an example; I can smell snow and ‘winter’, rain and ‘fall’, several weeks before it arrives, through the specific smell of soil in the wind. Others can sense storms in their bones, or even feel the shift of seasons in their blood, long before the trees changes colour.

And none of it is a coincidence. Because, to live with limitations, is to live attuned. Most of us don’t even know we’re doing it!

The Witch’s Body

«The body has been for women in capitalist society what the factory has been for male workers».
– Silvia Federici

Yet, there is also resistance in the body itself. Disabled people have always lived on the edges – where survival itself becomes an act of creation. This is because disability forces an intimacy with nature that modernity often forgets.
Like I mentioned, my body tells me when the seasons shift. This is important as different seasons lead to different challenges, and the more time I have to preopare for said challenges, the smaller they become in my everyday life.

Historically, many of those highly disabled, obviously ill, queer, undead, wise and old women (and certain men) – were labelled as dangerous.
They were believed to have energy, wisdom and a general kind of knowledge that could not be measured, which in turn was highly feared by the social systems built around having control.
Across medieval and early modern Europe – particularly in the North, women who could heal through herbs or intuition were labeled as witches, Midwives, wise-women and those born with epilepsy like me became living metaphors of coming chaos. Or, as the church claimed; evidence of the devil’s touch.
In fact, epilepsy was once called «the sacred disease» – not for its holiness (or lack thereof), but because no one could explain it: People fell to the ground, shook, saw visions, and woke transformed. And it completely frightened the rational world.

In some Nordic communities, the afflicted were also believed to walk between worlds – to glimpse the unseen, and speak with ancestors.
The same applied to those with mental or physical anomalities.
As an example, In some Sámi traditions, noaidi (shamans) often carried disabilities, and their altered bodies were seen as vessels for spiritual travel.

During the witch-trials in the North, set forth by the church, these people (men and women) were arrested and burned out of fear – though earlier cultures honoured it as sacred differences.
And in the end, the line between «witch» and «disabled» was often only drawn by who were allowed to survive.
And, to be frank – in some ways, this is still the case today…

As historian Liv Helene Willumsen notes in her studies of the Vardø witch trials, many of those executed in Northern Norway were women who lived alone, had poor health, or were socially marginal; outsiders made to be monstrous by circumstances. And the body that could not be controlled became the body that had to be punished.

The Return of the Sacred
And yet, despite all these efforts, the witch never vanished.
She returned in art, in feminism, in disability pride, and in every person who refuses to apologize for existing outside of the norm. To reclaim the witch is to reclaim the disabled, the aging, the strange, and the knowing. It is to insist that our intuition and our embodied knowledge are not deviations from nature – but rather it’s voice speaking through us.

Ursula K. Le Guin once wrote:

The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next.»
– Ursula K. Le Guin

For those of us whose lives are defined by unpredictability, that uncertainty is our craft.

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A Reflection

Ask yourself:

  • What season is my body in right now?
  • What is the soil of my life asking me to nourish, and what must I let decay?
  • How can I honor the sacred feminine within myself — not as softness alone, but as the fierce, regenerative power of the earth?

“The earth does not rush; she evolves. So too does the body.”
– Silje Elsrud Yttervik

In the end, to live in a disabled body is to remember what the world keeps forgetting: that strength is not speed, and healing is not the same as erasure. Our bodies are not obstacles to overcome — they are altars to the sacred feminine, grounded in earth and time, whispering to us in the language of wind, scent, and bone.

And if you listen closely — before the snow, before the storm — you might hear it too.


– Silje

The Myth of the Wall: What Menopause Reveals about Power

«They tell women they reach a wall at 30. That somehow, beauty fades, fertility wanes and the world will stop listening; stop caring. But nature laugs at such a story – because, nature never built a wall. She built a gate».
– Silje Elsrud Yttervik

Much like many women of my generation, reaching the age of 30 seemed like such a fuzz. Apparantly; according to the social norms of ‘chronically-online-wannabe-gods’, women at the age of 30 is supposed to feel some sort of terrible way – and then just roll over and die. But, we all know that doesn’t happen. Instead, many women feel better, look prettier and and have generally better, healthier lives than they ever did during their 20s. I certainly know I do! And those who don’t – most often than not spent their entire teenage-/ very early adult stage, tied to some kind of man they now recognize as a master manipulator, beginning their 30’s with 2-3 kids they’re caring for all by themselves, while doing all housework and paying 50% of the bills. And, well – if that is your life, there’s no wonder you feel tired!

Regardless; the general construct seem to be that women over 30 hit «the wall». A form of ‘something’ that from one day to the next changes everything about her. Personally, I find it a bit funny. Because, once again – according to this wall, women are no longer beautiful, no longer fertile and always sad and bitter. And, there’s nothing realistic about this. Some of the most beautiful women out there (for anyone not litterally ‘pdf-files‘) are in their 40’s; when people feel free and authentic enough to be themselves. Some women have children as far as in their mid-to-late 40’s, so the fertility-aspect is not true either. And, lastly – it takes alot of time and effort to make groups of smiling, laughing women in their menopausal stage seem sad and bitter. The fact that certain people actually do that, should be enough to illustrate how little truth there is to it.

So, then what is the wall?

Well, the latest, general consensus amongst neurologists seem to be that human brains are only fully developed sometime between the age of 27-30. For young women, that is the age she becomes anchored in who she is, becomes less naive and more mature – and with it, much less difficult to manipulate.

So, when (especially) older, supposedly mature men, scream and shout that I should roll over and die, as I don’t have kids anyone can put on me, and I have no value beyond reproducing, I tend to find their talking points very – odd.

Because, If women actually were made just to reproduce, nature would make sure we could reproduce all our lives, kind off like men can. But, when a women reaches menopause, she (most often) has only lived half of her life. Or to put it another way:

«If women were meant only to bear children, nature wouldn’t have made them live half their lives beyond it».
– Silje Elsrud Yttervik

Men on the other hand is a different story. If they stay healthy, men can tecnically reproduce their entire life; a little boy is born – he gets to teenage age when he (biologically) can reproduce, gets older and older (while able to reproduce), then he dies. So if any sex is tecnically made only to reproduce other humans, it’s the menz…

Unfortionately, this double standard is intentional, and has through centuries-old attempts at changing nature, been baked intoo the design of society.

Biology speaks Truth
Within the animal realm , only a very few species experience female menopause; humans, some toothed whales (orchas, pilot whales) and elephants. In these species, females live long past their fertile years, often becoming central leading figures – as wise, powerful and very needed in their pack.

This is best explained by a concept many evolutionary Biologists and Anthropologists refer to as the Grandmother Hypothesis; which shows how post-reproductive women contribute significantly to the survival of descendants. Their presence alone improves child-rearing success, resource sharing, and transmission of wisdom.

One study with pre-industrial Finns found that women beyond reproductive age who helped raise grandchildren had better overall «fitness»trajectories for their lineage – suggesting that menopause is not a «defect» but rather an adaptive trait manily issued to women.

Based on this fact, is seems likely that nature designed these females in a much more generous way than what society seems to think. After all, she was designed to bear children, nurture them – and then lead society forward- for as long as life allows.

Patriarchy and its Backfire
One thing I find immensely Interestingly, is that out of the three animal species that experience female menopause, two out of the three have matriarchal societies. And the one that does not, have instead fought tooth-and-nail for centuries to prove that the patriarcal way is instead the natural way – and doing a very poor job at it!

https://powerculturecoco.substack.com/p/what-is-matriarchy
Image by: Substack @PowerCultureCoco

The problem with human societies is that the patriarchy eats itself. Every time it silences a woman; a weaker less important part of the patriarchal-pyramid (according to itself), it also weakens the structure that holds it.

Furthermore, from a sociological lens, when highly-patriarchal laws are put in place, it leads to societies that prefer male children over females ones, creating laws that result in parents (litterally) killing their newborn baby-girls, hoping for a male one next. Such patriarchal talking points are another example of how short-sighted the patriarchy really is. Because, low and behold; these very same countries are now left with societies with up to 50 million more men than women;
men who are mad they can’t find a wife. Men who are mad and highly violent because they can’t regulate their emotions through sexual acts with women. And men who blame women for not wanting to date them; not taking intoo account that if (litterally) every woman in the country had a man, 50 million men would still be withouth a woman.

The true irony here is that the more these patriarchs tries to hord control over social assets and the people they belong too, the more they destabilize their own system.

The Psychological & Emotional Reflection
Many men seem angry when women over 30 refuse to be silenced or manipulated. They call us ‘past our value’ as though value has an expiration date stamped in (often) pre-teen-youth. They either don’t see that women as they age carry more perspective, more resilience and more ability to name injustice. Or, they see it and fear it, knowing that they themselves were planning on being the reason for said injustice.

Because, the wall they speak of isn’t real. It’s a ghost story used to keep power. All women have to do is to reclaim the «crone»-achetype; not as a symbol of decay, but rather as a sign of mastery, female wisdom and peace. She is someone who cannot be controlled by sex, fertility or validation. And when women cross that imaginary barrier – when they refuse to shrink, refuse to become invisible — they walk into a space of truth.
There is nothing to apologize for in growing older. I mean – congratulations!
We’re not dead yet!

“The wise woman isn’t bitter; she’s just free. And freedom looks dangerous to those who’ve only ever known control.”
– Silje Elsrud Yttervik


Authorities, Thinkers and Books to Ground You

  • Riane Eisler, The Chalice and the Blade. She writes about the tension between “dominator” (patriarchal) models and partner/partnership models of society.
  • Evelyn Reed, Woman’s Evolution: From Matriarchal Clan to Patriarchal Family. Looks at early human social systems that were matrilineal before the rise of the patriarchal family.
  • Scholarly article: “Evolutionary, Developmental, and Comparative Perspectives on Menopause” — considers how humans and certain animals evolved life beyond reproductive age.

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The Matriarch Returns

Image by: Philbo UA @ Unsplash

Despite a ton of patriarchs trying to frame it that way, Matriarchal societies is not about women ruling over men – it’s about balance. About remembering that the center of life was never meant to be domination, but care. Antropological research clearly shows that societies with more balanced gender roles, also create societies with less violence, higher social stability – and (generally) better lives for everyone; big or small, old or young.
The metaphorical wall they built for women is only a mirage.
And beyond it lies a throne.

A Task for you
Write a letter to your future self (5 or 10 years from now). Describe your power, your wisdom, your beauty. Then read it back. Let that future self know that you see them, and choose them, just as they are.

– Silje

The Shadowy Magic of Autumn!

There is no exquisite beauty… without some strangeness in proportion.»
– Edgar Allan Poe

Autumn is my absolute favourite season!
At first, the summer chatter simply quiets – and in its place comes the music of rain on windows, the sound of branches scarping against rooftops, and the sharp smell of leaves decaying into soil. Then, as the season reaches its full potential, the light bends low; mixing golden colours with rustic-red, fleeting; casting long shadows across the streets. The world seems to shift, with nature’s magic continuously moving closer, brushing past your skin like chill wind.

For me, autumn has always been more than a season. In a way, it is a return to myself. Or, a return to parts of myself that adulthood seems to freequently overlook.
As a teenager, I wore black lace and massive eyeliner, leaning into the gothic, nerdy and ‘strange’ shadows of the world. With age, I (as my mother rightfully predicted) ended up moving past that, strictly aesthetically speaking – but the echoes of those years remain within me. And every autumn these echoes grow louder and louder, rising again.

And as the season rises, dark and moody – the witchy parts of me grows stronger, bolder – and infamously more powerful!
Where other people see doom and gloom, I see beauty;
The gold agains black, the glow of candleflames from the outside of a rainsoaked area.

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.»
– Emily Brontë

To me, the «strangeness» of autumn brings with it a freedom that is difficult to recreate. It is a freedom away from the perpetual buzz of the summer season; freedom from the constant demand to be bright and vibrant and keep pace with the sunlight, which seems to grow continuously from the early days of spring, and freedom from the cold, slow and tiring days that winter often brings to the table.

Instead, in autumn, my fatigue no longer singles me out. Everyone moves a little slower, a little softer and a little quieter. With it, my disability simply blends intoo the rhytm of the season, almost invisible.
The world slowly begins to remember to take a step back, and rest – and in its pause, I come alive!

Leaning into the Gothic Essence

«Beware, for I am fearless, and therefore powerful».
– Mary Shelley

Darkness frightens many people. They avoid the shadows around them, pretending that beauty can only be found in light.
But, light without darkness has no meaning. And to embrace autumn is to embrace both. Thus, the best way forward is not to deny shadows as they appear – but instead to walk right into them.

Here are a few (easy) ways to invite the gothic beauty of autumn intoo your life:

  • Books for rainy nights: Wuthering Heights (Emily Brontë), The Picture of Dorian Gray ( Oscar Wilde), Frankenstein (Mary Shelley), or even modern gothic-tinged novels like Mexican Gothic (Silvia Moreno-Garcia).
  • Films with gothic energy: The Crow, The Craft, Beetlejuice, or Classics like Interview with a Vampire (I have also thus far really enjoyed AMC’s recent show-remake of the film). If classical- goth is not your thing, there are many other examples of similar energy, to help you step intoo the shadow. As an example, I tend to watch the series Good Witch on Netflix every october. It is a more modern version of witchy-energy, but equally suiting for fall. Similarly, my sister – who’s always been a massive fan of creepy, gory things, have for the past several years watched a horror movie every day of October, to prepare for the mood of Halloween.
  • Music & Atmosphere: Lean intoo soundscapes that match the season; moody piano, darkwave, or even storm recordings. Decorate with your favourite gothic aesthetics, whether it be candles, old photographs – or black and gold touches that makes the space feel enchanted.
  • Rituals: Dance freely, sing badly – or scream intoo the wind. Write letters to those you’ve lost, and invite them intoo your dreams. Or, light a candle in their honour. Walk intoo the rain, and listen to a world softened by water and shadow.

Truly, there is sooo much you can do! 😀

Image by: Lukas Szmigiel @Unsplash

Autumn is not the death of summer, but the season of true transformation. During autumn, beauty and strangeness interwine. Shadows stretch long – but they are not here to harm you. They are here to remind you that there is magic in every falling leaf, every candle flicker, in every stormy night where you choose to stay awake with the ghosts.

So let the world grow darker. Light a candle, put on your favourite cult film – or pick up a true and tried gothic novel, and lean intoo it. Find the strangeness, find the shadows – and the beauty that burns bright!

Thus, when the shadows lengthens, and the leaves fall like whispers of time, don’t hide from the strangeness. Instead, step into it comfortably.
Autumn has always belonged to the ones who notice the odd, who dance with the strange, who lights candles not to banish the darkness – but to make it deeper, richer and more alive.
As Nancy once sneered in The Craft «We are the weirdoes, mister.» A line meant as mockery, but also as an anthem of invitation for those of us who thrive in the margins.

Let yourself be unordinary. Build altars from fallen leaves, turn your room into a chapel of flickering lights. Breath in the scent of wet earth as though it were incense. Because strangeness in not just survival – It’s celebration of freedom!

Or, to borrow from a certain ghost with a wicked grin:

«I myself, am strange and unusual.»
– Beetlejuice




– Silje
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– A task for you, reader:
If you were to find one gothic, or ‘witchy element’ to embrace this season, however small, which one would it be?
– How could you element this intoo your daily life, regardless of season?
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