Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.»
– J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
The Shape of Hope
For many, the ‘standardized’ concept of hope is an unfamiliar subject. It tends to move quickly and burn bright; like changing the world overnight.
But whether we are aware of it or not, the shape of hope is not tied to this ultra-speedy nature.
Most of my own interaction with the subject, is a type of hope that moves kind of like water; it’s slow – quiet, and utterly relentless!
With this type of hope, progress doesn’t follow the world’s idea of sucess. It’s not about sprinting to the finish line as we’ve been told to do, but rather about adapting to the current; flowing ahead live rivers carving through stone; patient and determined.
Whether your own experience with the feeling of hope stems from the ‘standardized’ or ‘slower’ type – for many disabled people, we have no choice in the matter…
In the last few years, I’ve learned to stop measuring my life by the pace other expect.
What’s interesting about that (at least to me), is that I’ve never really cared about other’s people’s perception of me – and I’ve never truly done anything for the validation of other people. Yet, even I have had personal expectations towards the progression of my own life, which have largely been based on the ‘standardized’ progress of other people.
In some ways this can be good, for finding out where you belong on the ‘scale of life’. Yet in other ways, it can lead to people acting inauthentic and misaligned with their own hopes and dreams; which in turn may lead to feeling even worse about onesself.
So, Instead of attempting to continue my life’s progression through the pace of someone who isn’t partially disabled, I decided to follow my hopes and dreams through the lens of someone who is. Following a pace that is fitted for me, recognizing that I might have to do thing differently than what I was taught growing up – and recognizing that this does not have to be a negative adaption.
And the result of that, has changed not only the way I view my own life, through its bits and pieces, but also the way i look at hope.
Doing things slowly, just means that the foundation is built before what makes you see true progress. In turn, said progress is much more likely to stick – and adapt whenever it needs to.
As an example;
I’ve wanted to loose weight since I was a preteen, but it was only during the last two years that I’ve been able to loose it. By that time I’d, consulted a woman about my eating habits – found out it was my genetical diseases and not my diet that kept me overweight (for the most part) – and (despite my scepticism), when I finally agreed to try these ‘diet perscriptions’ I suddenly began loosing weigh.
By that time, however I had already been working out with a physiotheraphist for almost 10 years, building muscle. I’d started slowly bying nice clothes in smaller sizes, while also learning how to sow in various clothes myself. I had a small – yet effective skincare routine, to stop my skin from sagging to much, and had a list of healthy meals to make sure I ate what my body needed.
Furthermore, the things I used to dislike about my body (like having a very thick bone structure) suddenly worked in my favour, as my very slow progression and heavy training lead to loads more muscle, and very little loose skin overall.
All this was my foundation, and it has been adapting constantly!
Now, I’m still not finished with my weight-loss; will in fact probably take another full year before I’m done, but now that my foundation is fully set, the hope of being as healthy and fit as I wish is much – much closer!
Progress Loves Progress
Interestingly eniough, I noticed that as soon as my hope of loosing weight started taking a turn for the better, so did several of my other hopes and dreams.
And when I look at what I’ve actually built during the last two years, I am truly proud of myself (which isnot something I often get)!
I managed to built a blog despite being terrible at internett-stuff in general.
I made a hardcopy book from scratch, despite not knowing the full production beforehand.
I started making videos and recording monologues, despite not knowing how to properly edit it – something I never thought I’d be able to do!
And each of these are the beginning of a new foundation.
Each took time, energy and heavy faith in myself, when the world didn’t see what I could do. You know, the kind of faith that came from me showing myself that when I hope for something (like loosing weigh) I manage to do it…
And when I stopped waiting for permission and just started creating something of my own, I realized something radical: even if other’s can’t see my potential, I do.
And that is enough to keep growing!
What Progress Looks Like
Progress for me, isn’t about speed or competition. It’s about direction.
I would much rather move slowly and steadily the right way – one step, one breath and one word at a time – than risk being torn to pieces with a limb in every direction.
Others might differ.
Many, especially those whose potential speed exceeds my own, might use said speed to have faster, more scattered progress – to each their own.
Sometimes, hope is about trusting that ones own path, however winding, has a meaning. That every small act; a sentence written, a post published, a quiet morning spent reflecting – is progress in itself.
After all, hope of progress can be found where you’re able to look for it!
«Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense.»
– Václav Havel
So if you’re reading this and you feel left behind, invisible, or unsure of where you’re heading – Take a breath. And pause.
Look at how far you’ve already come, what you’ve already built in the dark. And believe that you are further along than you think.
Because, hope isn’t a finish line. Rather, it’s the shape you carve out with your own persistance; fast or slow, steady – and unimaginably strong!
—
Reflection Task
This week, take 15 minutes to write down three things you’ve done during 2025 that past you thought was impossible. Don’t measure them by how big or ‘impressive’ they are – measure them by how much they mean to you.
This is the shape of hope!
– Silje